MY DREAM

How my art came back to my life.

I drew very little as a child – mostly from the ages of 8 to 11.  An adult in my life, disapproving of a sketch I had done, told me to never draw again, and I obeyed this demand.  Now some 23 years later I arrive at the start of a journey, that continues to unfold before my eyes.  It is time for me to take back the gift that was stolen from me through fear so long ago…

It was another painful time in my life. Broken – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I had no idea where to turn yet something inside of me said I could overcome this pain.

In the depths of despair, I spoke to my dear friend John about a series of dreams I was having that were at once peaceful and surreal.

“Something has to change, I’m tired John. I can’t live this way any longer. I don’t want anymore of my spiritual dreams. No more,” I sobbed. With tears flowing down my face, I sat in my rocker and looked up crying out,

“Help Me!” That night, I went to bed and slept fairly well. When I awoke, I felt a heaviness throughout my body and, still feeling extremely tired, I went back to bed and fell asleep right away.

I had a dream.

Sitting in my cane – seated rocking chair, I was visited by my deceased brother, Wetzel. I stood to greet him and, approaching me he said, “I have a gift for you.”

He proceeded to place a large old key around my left tricep. I said, “No I can’t accept this gift. People won’t understand because you are physically dead.”

“This is your gift,” he said.

My brother walked behind me and while I tried to turn to look at him, I found I could not. I lifted my head toward the ceiling and was showered with the light of love. Stretching my arms towards this light, I than knew that it was not just my brother behind me – it was everything. It was God. I could feel an angel supporting my arms as I reached out. Tears filled my eyes as I spoke the words, “I surrender, I will do what you want me to do.”

I began to fly – with the angel behind me. I flew through buildings, buses, and people. Shortly, I neared the top of a mountain. I stopped, overwhelmed with fear. I thought to myself, “this is too hard I can’t go over this mountain.” I closed my eyes tightly, squeezing them together, my voice shaking as I said, “I can do this – just believe.”

Then I was lifted, soaring into space. The feeling of love that had always been inside of me had come to life.

After enjoying this freedom of flight for a while, I descended closer to earth with renewed confidence. I could see a black and white building in the distance. Looking to my right, I saw the most beautiful large framed paintings.

I said, “Wow!” The angel behind me replied in a soft, gentle voice, “You’ve done this a few times haven’t you?”

I smiled and turned back looking toward the building in front of me. Doubt began to rise within me. Pushing it out of my mind and said, “I can do this.”

The angel and I flew easily through the buildings walls and found ourselves in a little room. Warm sunlight was shining through a basement window. My brother Arnold was there. He said, “BRUSH”

I awoke with such awareness and confidence, feeling changed within and seized by the sense that I needed to return to high school to complete my studies. Certain that this was my dream’s message, I enrolled.

After a few months, I felt torn between the excitement of what I was trying to achieve, and the lingering doubt and fears arising from my childhood memories. Once again I was experiencing great pain.

Turning again to my friend John for comfort and advice he arrived at my home and handed me a gift. A box of chocolates with a photograph of a building on the lid.

Feeling suddenly calm, I wiped my tears. With excitement in my voice I said, “John – I have to draw this! Oh my – I have to draw this.” Oddly, I did not yet connect the dream with this experience.

On boxing day, filled with enthusiasm, I went out to get some drawing pencils and paper.

I drew the building in just a few days. But somehow it felt incomplete. I felt compelled to add some clouds; Finishing them, I sat back in my rocker to observe my work. Suddenly, I remembered my dream. Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. “My God,” I said. “This dream is being fulfilled right in front of my eyes.” Without realizing it, I had drawn myself and an angel flying above the building.

Today because of that miraculous dream, my life has changed and continues to change.

By Kathryn Saunders.

This was my very first drawing done in 2001 after 23 years of not doing anything. This is the building that was in my dream with the different shades of color here and there on the building (In the dream there was splashes of color on the building). Notice the clouds.  (I had absolutely no awareness I had draw these clouds!)